White Castle
by JadedSinceConception86
Summary: Emma and Graham get stoned.
1. Chapter 1

**White Castle**

**Author: Jaded Since Conception 86**

**A/N: Love Once upon A Time… yay.**

**Summary: "Smoked out, loached out, blowing hella smoke out." **

**Chapter One**

It's around ten at night and the Emma is baking out with her buddy Grant. Both cops lounged in the jail area of the Sheriff's office. A thick haze of white smoke hung in the air as they blazed blueberry Kush weed. Emma sat on the floor against the bars. One knee up and the other leg stretched out. She held a thick blunt between her thumb and index finger, as she inhaled strong. Emma smoked like a chimney. As she held her mouth ajar and sucked billowing white clouds up her nose. She reached out passing the loaded cigarillo to the Deputy. He sat across the wall mounted bed. "I am so fucking high!" He blurted, chuckling gleefully. "Fuck, me three," Emma said, grinning. Grant burst out laughing, starting a laughing fit between the both of them. There loud and obnoxious behavior filled the room. "I told you Red were good for it," Grant said, taking two drags, and then passing the blunt. "Ye-ah," Emma said, sighing with enthusiasm. "I wonder what Mayor Tight-ass is up to," Emma said, her lip curving up slightly. "She's probably fucking Mr. Gold again, probably why he has that damn limp and cane," Grant said, "She fucks the shit out him." Emma damn near choked on her smoke, as she took a hit.

"Ha! Ha! Hahahahahahahaaaaa!" Emma laughed out loud, lurching over against her knee. She held out the blunt to Grant. "What? I bet I'm right!" Grant said, pinching the now, short. "Yeah-right!" Emma said, catching her breath. "No way," Emma waved her hands dramatically. "If Regina was fucking Gold, he would be a fucking wheel chair!" She nodded, with a sure look.

"Ahahahahaahahaha! Or dead!" Grant bellowed, "Gold is fucking old as shit!" He passed the blunt to Emma. "Aahahahahahahahahahahaha! Dude is fucking ancient!" Emma mocked. She puffed the extra short to a stinger, than flicked it in to the cold, concrete corner of the room. "I bet his dick shoots fucking baby powder," Grant carried on. "Hahahahah! Oh shit! My stomach hurts!" Emma said, straining to speak between gasp for air. "Ohhh… fuck, I'm light headed as hell, now," Grant said, catching his breath. "Daaamn," Emma sighed, looking sick. "What?" Grant asked, staring at his co-worker. "I just pictured Regina and Gold."

"Awwe, See! They're fucking… some- how," Grant said, looking sure. "Shit, I'd do her, too… if she weren't a total fucking psycho," Emma blurted, leaning her head back against the iron bars. "Sexy psycho," Grant said, seriously. "She can ride my cruiser anytime," Grant added, with an elongated sigh. He gently pressed a hand to the crotch of his jeans. "Too sexy," Emma scuffed, frowning cutely. "Ahahaha," Emma grinned. Grant gave her questioning look. "When-ever she is bitching me out," Emma corked a brow. "I imagine her naked," She admitted. "Ha!" Grant blurted, "Hahahaa! No shit!"

Emma shook her head, yes. "It's the only way, to survive her wrath," Emma said, sighing. "What do you see after she's naked," Grant asked, looking a little more than curious. "Me fucking her up against my desk," Emma said, holding her hands out and gesture towards her lap.

"Ahhh! Bad girl!" Grant teased, chuckling. "Very bad," Emma agreed. A smug as look washed over on her face, as she recalled the dirty pictures in her head.

"Ahem!" Came a voice suddenly, startling the cops. Grant got to his feet in a slightly clumsy manner, looking towards the cell door. He immediately drops his gaze and began to smooth cloths and hair. Emma followed suit. "Re- Mayor Mills," Emma blurted, viciously holding back a blush. She looked one hundred percent bitchy, as usual. "Eyes up here, Ms. Swan," Regina said, glaring at the blonde cop. "Deputy," She added, giving Grant a stiff look. Both looked at each other, trying not to laugh.

"Working hard, or hardly working," She asked, looking suspicious. She looked expectantly to the both of them. "We are definitely hard…. At work," Grant blurted, fighting a looking kind of sleazy. "I beg your pardon?" Regina said, looking confused. "Yes!" Emma interjected, smiling. "We're working," Emma said, "Now, how may we be of service?" Grant smirked, hard.

"Hm," Regina sighed, sizing up the blonde….

**A/N: Awe, cliff hanger. This was a stoner written piece. Because, I'm so high right now. Um. Hope you like it. I'm definitely going to continue…. The next time I get blowed… Which will probably be tomorrow… Ye-ah. Anyway, hope you liked this story. Follow it or whatever. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: This is White Castle…. Yeah. I love saying that. AND I love OnlyChillstep. Check it out on YOUTUBE: watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=rTgA4tHOp2Y and watch?v=auTPDlny7Tk&feature=relmfu it's amazing when you're already floating on bubblegum clouds. Bubble-KUSH, that is- yeh! *blows pink smoke in your direction* OH, AND THE GUY GRANT, IS SUPPOSED TO BE GRAHAM. SORRY ABOUT THE TYPO. OOPSIES! :} LOL.**

**Chapter Two**

_**{Oh, my god, how long has she been standing there!**_** Emma panicked a little. Damn, **_**I hope she didn't see me petting myself- damn awkwarrrrd.**_** Grant frowned}**

Regina barreled down the street, in her starlight- black Lotus Evora. Her wheels leaving tire streaks on the old roads of Storybrooke.

The day hadn't gone quite as well, as Regina had hoped. Between being blackmailed by Mr. Gold and organizing another town meeting. Regina was exhausted and really irritated. And a silent night of wine and memories just wouldn't cut it for the night.

A sharp right, another right and on the corner, she made it to her destination. Whipping in to a small parking lot, she skates past a couple cop cars. Coming to an abrupt stop, she throws her whip in park, and promptly gets out. Her brown eyes narrowing to slits, as she regarded a brilliant blue and white Mini Cooper across the way.

Snorting, Regina moves past the front doors of the Sheriff's office. She stalked through the deserted and dully interesting building. A devilish smirk pulling at her ruby red lips, as she went in to complete BITCH mode. Down the hallways, she prowled like a black Panther looking for dinner.

Just as she came round the corner, to enter the office labeled Chief Swan & Deputy Grant. She is met with hysterical laughter and… a wooly-sugary odor. Stopping her in her tracks.

_Oh my god- what is that smell!?_ She scrunches her pretty face in rejection.

"Hahahahah! Oh shit! My stomach hurts!" Emma said, straining to speak between gasp for air. "Ohhh… fuck, I'm light headed as hell, now," Grant said, catching his breath. "Daaamn," Emma sighed, looking sick. "What?" Grant asked, staring at his co-worker. "I just pictured Regina and Gold."

Regina damn near shouted at the last part. A strangled gasp leaving her throat, as her jaw hit the ground in shock. _Me and Go- Rumple- AUGH! HOW DARE SHE ACCUSE ME OF SUCH A HEINOUS ACT! I'M GOING TO KILL THEM BOTH!_ Regina's face twisted in a scowl. With that, the Mayor sauntered in to the room. She half covered her nose and mouth, with her sleeve.

_Ew, this place is a pig fucking sty._ She dropped her arm, as she looked around. Both cops were missing in action. As they're desk set empty and scattered with paperwork. And junk food wrappers and a couple take out plates of what looked like Caribbean food. She stepped up to Sheriff Swan's desk. A scrutinizing expression played over her face. _Pop rocks and Dr. Pepper, really? What is this Urban Legend?_ Regina mused. She flicked her fingers over an empty red Pop Rocks package paper, than the burgundy soda can. Her finger tips gliding over a light pink impression of lip gloss on the mouth piece.

"Awwe, See!" She heard Graham practically shout. Regina flinched hard as hell, looking as if she were a child caught with her hand in the cookie jar. She turned to see the rugged brunette laid out on the bed in the open jail cell.

_Good, no one saw that._ She spotted Emma sitting on the cold, concrete floor. Blonde mane somewhat messy. She stared ahead, seemingly day dreaming, a chill expression on her face. Nothing like the usual mug, she ever wore. Emma actually looked happy. _She can be kind of adorable, sometimes._ Regina, smiled. Until…. She heard: "Shit, I'd do her, too… if she weren't a total fucking psycho," Emma blurted, leaning her head back against the iron bars.

_Psycho?... really?- Wait, did she just say she'd do me? In your dreams blondie!_ Regina scuffed, glaring at the tall, blonde. She strangled the strap of her Fendi purse tucked under her underarm. She'd caught the blonde leering at her, on more than one occasion.

"Sexy psycho," Graham said, seriously. "She can ride my cruiser anytime," Graham added, with an elongated sigh. He gently pressed a hand to the crotch of his jeans. "Too sexy," Emma scuffed, frowning cutely.

Regina looked flattered and slightly offended. Mainly from Graham's corny chose words. She looked back and forth between the two. Honestly, Regina would do them both. At the same time and separate. When she was around, she'd always feel Emma watching, her blue eyes burning through her skin, like the plasma from that giant gun in the DOOM video game. (A/N: Damn, that was long description…. Ahaa.)

"Ahahaha," Emma grinned. Graham gave her questioning look. "When-ever she is bitching me out," Emma corked a brow. "I imagine her naked," She admitted. "Ha!" Grant blurted, "Hahahaa! No shit!"

_THAT LITTLE PERVE!_ Regina frowned, scowling. Her cheeks burned red, from the thought of such a ridiculous thing. She shook her head to clear her mind, for thoughts of calling Emma out. A sadistic grin twisting on her face.

Emma shook her head, yes. "It's the only way, to survive her wrath," Emma said, sighing. "What do you see after she's naked," Grant asked, looking a little more than curious. "Me fucking her up against my desk," Emma said, holding her hands out and gesture towards her lap.

"Ahhh! Bad girl!" Grant teased, chuckling. "Very bad," Emma agreed. A smug as look washed over on her face, as she recalled the dirty pictures in her head.

Regina's face broke, her smirk slack, as her jaw hit the ground. _Oh… my… god._ Regina tilted her head to the side, as she watched Emma demonstrated more of her usual vulgar behavior.

Miss Swan! Regina opened her mouth to bark, but the protest never made it out of her mind. As she felt strangely amused and aroused all at the same time.

**A/N: *sigh* This chapter was kind of suckee. Sometimes I get spacey when I **_**bake.**_** And during this chapter was one of those times. So… hope it will suffice. : peace'ceees.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

"Ahem!" Regina cleared her throat, in a rude manner. Startling the two officers, as they quickly acknowledged. Which, Regina would have been ecstatic at such eager response to her presence, if weren't from the circumstances.

"Re- Mayor Mills," Emma blurted, viciously holding back a blush.

"Eyes up here, Miss Swan," She sneered, nose in the air. She impatiently watched them, as they awkwardly left the cell. Trying hard to look professional, but failing as they looked like two delinquents caught playing hooky. They exchanged amused glances, as they pat themselves down, smoothing there appearance. Both produced aviator shades and put them on as casually as possible.

_What in the hell is this Men in Black_. Regina deadpanned. Noting there odd synchronized behavior. Graham plopped at his desk, leaning back in his seat. Emma lounged back behind her desk, kicking her feet up on the corner of the wooden surface.

"Working hard, or hardly working," Regina asked, looking suspicious. She looked expectantly to the both of them. "We are definitely hard…. At work," Graham blurted, looking kind of sleazy. "I beg your pardon?" Regina said, looking confused.

"Yes!" Emma interjected, smiling. "We're working," Emma said, "Now, how may we be of service?" Graham smirked, hard.

"(Hmph) Miss Swan," Regina sighed, sizing up the blonde. "You can start by wiping that ridiculous grin off your face," Regina said, looking stoic. "Oh, you mean this grin?" Emma asked, her pink lips stretching in to a wide grin. She twirls a lock of blonde hair around her index finger.

Regina scuffed, staring at the blonde for a moment. Feeling almost intimidated by Emma's bold and chill manner. Almost.

"Might I remind you, this is a prescient, not your place of residence," Regina said, glancing at Graham. Who pretended to look over a file or two. "So, leave your frat boy ways at home," She added, looking to Emma.

_EXCUSE ME?_ Emma frowned slightly, too high to trip over Regina tonight. _Did she just call me a slob?_ Graham furrowed his brow.

"You're right, this is a prescient," Emma began, "So, that would make me King- here, now wouldn't it?" She looked as smug as possible.

"King, indeed," Regina smirked, hard. As Emma's scowled, staring up at Regina. Looking more adorably-hot all pissed off. Regina stare down her nose at Emma, a challenging glare glint in her eyes.

"That's it!" Emma blurted. She hopped up, her hand going to her waist. Regina froze for a second. As the blonde stalked right up to her and grabbing her arm roughly and spinning her around and cuffing the rude lady.

**A/N: I am so sleepy now. But, um, MATURE themes will be in next chapter. I'm dying for some of that action too. G2G Catch you later. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:** I am so sorry about the wait. I have been really busy….. (sighs) Family drama has been taking up so much of my time. Yes, I've got some major fucking issues… NO, I have people in my life with major fucking issues that won't leave me alone.

Ugh! . As if being the black sheep isn't hard enough!

So, it's taking me days to update the next chapter, on top of not being able to work on White Castle at all.

I will most likely post late January or at the very latest February 14, Valentine's Day.

**=} So story is definitely NOT dead.**


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